Baby-boomers are owed to sexual liberation, the right to contraception and abortion, and even the beginning of the recognition of homosexuality.But on menopause, they have said nothing.Radio silence.Today, when we question them, they kick: "It's a non-subject", "Why discuss it?"," It's an intimate story ".They are 70 years old, a hellish energy, many still lead an active life, super busy, so hormone stories ... We understand, between the silences, that at the time they did not want to think about it, do likeIf it would never happen, don't age, what!What in psychoanalysis is called denial.If we don't talk about it, if we don't think about it, it won't exist.Taboo.
"I have never tackled the question, neither with my 36 -year -old daughter nor with my husband, who doesn't care - and even less with my sons," says Michèle, 67, former family planning activist, whodoes not keep the slightest memory of the period of his menopause.As for Caroline, 74, a young girl's silhouette in her jeans and sneakers, she is surprised: "It was rather a comfort to have no more concern for contraception.I took hormonal treatment and continued to have a sex life, I did not have the impression of a before and a after.They managed as the generations that preceded them, crossed the course with panache or discretion, according to their personality, their education, their history, their social background, took advantage, when they wanted - it never did notbeen an obligation -, of the hormonal treatment of menopause.They only talked about it, under the seal of confidence, or with their gynecologist, but it remained a story of women, rarely mentioned with spontaneity or humor.
In the cinema, aging does not have a good image...
Advertisements, films ... we interview without even being aware of the images where the quinquas women remain in the minority.At this age, there is work in parity in the world of cinema!The Tunnel Commission of the AAFA 50 -year actress (Actresses and Actors of France Associés), which published a manifesto on the subject, shows well: on all the French films of 2015, only 8 % of roleswere attributed to actresses over 50 years.The next year, it fell at 6 %... despite the release of Aurore, Blandine Lenoir, with Agnès Jaoui.This is one of the few films, if not the only one, displaying the menopause of her heroine to make it a scenario full of hope.
Baby-Boomeuse girls move the lines
"To be able to gain their place in the world of work, the baby boomers had to fight.They did not want to claim a differentiation which corresponded to a fragility.The current generation of 45-55 year olds has benefited from their advances and can now afford to move the lines about the gaze on menopause ”, analyzes Sophie Schmitt, innovation consultant and founder of the Seniosphere Cabinet Consulting.The new generation of menopausal women and the one who will be in a few years will not let go.It is not that it is particularly euphoric to be less and less young ... "It is scary.Now not to talk about what scares fear, ”recalls psychoanalyst Catherine Grangeard.Then the quinquas release their word.High and loud.Not wrongly and through, but when they can, as soon as they can.And why not ?"We talk about it because it exists!"It doesn't have to fall on you without you knowing what happens to you!»Exclaims Sofia, 38 years old.
"A large majority of mothers have not mentioned menopause with their daughters.However, the more the languages will untie, the more we will help women to raise the right questions in time.Menopause is preparing.You should be interested in it twenty years in advance!Otherwise, the unresolved problems of life will take on a considerable scale at this time when the psychic balance is weakened and very precarious, and when everything that has been put in place to preserve it can collapse, "says Catherine Grangeard.Natacha, 55, understood it: "I did not take care of myself, but when I was menopausal, I discovered that my fate and my body were now in my hands, and that if I do notnot careful, I would not have the right to complain about aging.I had already done a psychoanalysis, I knew where I was.The children had left the house, I lived alone, I felt depressed, so I completely changed my way of living.I was followed by a specialist in Chinese medicine and a naturopath.I lightened up, I go to the point, I feel good.»»
No more question of making efforts just to please
Today, menopause has become a public subject, a theme whose media seriously seizes.Thus, France Culture, in its program LSD (the documentary series), broadcast last March a series of four podcasts (to listen to in replay) under the title menopause for everyone.Or how to give the microphone to quinquas to question the stereotypes of femininity (youth, fertility, seduction, sweetness, submission, etc..) in which they no longer recognize themselves."I no longer want to force myself, to make efforts and salamalecs just to please, as I have always done in my work. Je préfère que l'on dise que j'ai de la personnalité, même si c'est plus clivant, et que l'on me prenne comme je suis»», affirme Sarah, 58 ans.
Arrived in the middle of their lives, many women know almost who they are and no longer want to submit to what society expects from them.Menopausal, so what?Their life is not reduced to that.This label which makes them de facto out of the field of femininity hurts those which internalized the image that society had given them so far. On appelle « male gaze»» le regard qui passe par les yeux des hommes et représente les femmes, après 40 ou 50 ans, sous les traits de « bonnes femmes»» lambda, voire de grand-mères sans avenir enviable. « Il ne s'agit pas de pleurer un éventuel pouvoir de séduction perdu, mais de vouloir avoir le sentiment d'exister encore en tant que femme aux yeux des autres»», explique Marianne, 54 ans.
Une « libération»»
« II y a des femmes que la ménopause libère et épanouit»», assure Irène Kaganski, psychiatre et psychanalyste.This is the case of Karine: "Compared to the premenstrual syndrome which plunged me into the throes of depression, it is a liberation, I have a light menopause, a better psychic balance than before.I wouldn't like to go back.»» Quant à Isabelle, la ménopause lui a permis de se débarrasser de ce qu'elle appelle « la séduction gnangnan»» et de laisser libre cours à une autre forme de féminité : « J'ai une espèce de masculinité en moi qui peut enfin s'exprimer.I feel strong of all this.»» Christine, elle aussi, se réjouit de la fin de ses règles : « Lorsque j'ai vu Aurore, le film de Blandine Lenoir avec Agnès Jaoui, je me suis rendu compte que la ménopause pouvait être super chouette, qu'une nouvelle vie pouvait commencer.Since then, I have listened to podcasts, read post #MeToo feminist accounts.I am 56 years old, I have been menopausal for two years.We should really tell women to celebrate their menopause as they celebrated their maternity.»»
According to Brigitte Allain-Dupré, psychoanalyst, to take advantage of menopause, it is still necessary to assume the choices that we have made.It is important to give value to your way."We must accept what Jung calls the conjunction of opposites: to produce energy, a battery needs a positive pole and a negative pole.If she has only one of the two, it does not work.»»
Find your little mouse
Pour vivre la ménopause comme une évolution, encore faut-il trouver « son»» projet… Comme Brigitte Allain-Dupré le rappelle, « la ménopause est quand même le début d'une progressive perte corporelle qui n'est pas rien, tant les règles nous ont occupées tous les mois pendant des années. C'est comparable à la perte de la première dent, qui a besoin d'être compensée par le cadeau de la petite souris»».So, each one finds the little mouse of his menopause, who will transform this loss into pleasure.The one, for example, from the beginning of a new professional life, as was the case for Sophie Dancourt, founder of I swimming pool with Simone: “Menopause was a click and I founded my media at 52 years, without having done a business school or expected, for once, to have 150 % skills to get there.»»
Michelle Obama told her first puff in heat
Sociologist Cécile Charlap underlines: "Age [Discrimination based on age] strikes women more than men than men.»» Une chevelure poivre et sel sera jugée sexy pour les hommes mais négligée pour les femmes, même si les mentalités évoluent. « Et comme le féminin se définit par rapport à la fécondité, le vieillissement des femmes est d'autant plus synonyme d'opprobre social, contrairement au vieillissement masculin»», poursuit-elle. Ne plus être capable d'avoir des enfants, ce serait donc ne plus être tout à fait une « vraie»» femme ? Comme s'il n'y avait pas d'autres formes de féminité à explorer. « Ça demande du courage de changer son propre regard sur soi pour changer celui des autres»», constate Cécile Charlap.In July 2020, Michelle Obama told her first heat puff in a podcast.It had to dare, she did it.This public speaking coming from such an admired and admirable woman opened the breach.At the time, she confided: "What a woman's body made her go through is important information.»»
In the United States, menopause has become a completely uninhibited social theme.It is not a question of brandishing it like a standard, but of no longer hiding it as if it was a shameful subject."Women do not want menopause to remain a total taboo, but they do not want to put it in the foreground. Elles l'assument, ce qui ne veut pas dire qu'elles la revendiquent»», explique Sophie Schmitt.They no longer want to undergo physiological changes without understanding them and asking that they are helped to cross them in the most natural way that is.They no longer hesitate to ring all doors and now talk about it with humor and lightness that do not prevent the seriousness of the subject, and do a lot of good.French women are not to be outdone and have invested social networks to seize the phenomenon.On Instagram, accounts like La_menopause, Jaipiscineauvecsimone or even Sophiefontanel represent a wealth of fascinating information and embarrassed on concern treated anywhere else else.
A documentary that denounces social stigma
His title: Ménopausées. C'est dit ! Diffusé en septembre 2020 sur France 2, on y entendait parler pour la première fois à la télé, dans la bouche de sept femmes entre 51 et 62 ans, de bouffées de chaleur invalidantes, de sautes d'humeur… Avec humour mais aussi colère « de ne pas avoir su avant»».Blandine Grosjean, who wrote this documentary, says: "The most lost women were not those who suffered most from the symptoms, but those who did not manage to accept to be no longer those they had been.They said: “You become transparent.No more man looks at you.”»» Invisible, la femme de 50 ans le deviendrait socialement si elle ne s'accrochait pas pour exister aux yeux des autres.
No time for regrets, but that of projects ...
On @menopause.stories, Sophie Kune propose chaque semaine des live qu'elle qualifie de « débridés»» avec des experts bien-être, beauté, sexe… Tapez « ménopause»» sur Facebook, vous n'aurez que l'embarras du choix de groupes et de communautés, comme Ménopause sans complexes ni tabous, Marre de la ménopause !, SOS Ménopause, ou encore Ménopause Café (soutenu par… le laboratoire Mylan).The common message: to menopause, you are delivered from the mental charge of children's education and the obligation of super performance in companies - which will not give you any more promotion anyway - and you finally have thetime for you. « Ce n'est pas un moment de regret, mais un moment de projet»», observe Sophie Schmitt.Quinquas pamper.They take care of their bodies, their diet and their physical form to prepare the decades that remain to live.
A wind of positivity blows on menopause.From now on, cosmetics brands are based on the speech of women, to which they give legitimacy.Thus, Vichy and Clarins, who would not have dared to approach the subject ten years ago, display their support through podcasts (respectively no pause and my body this hero).We see born whole ranges aimed at restoring hormonal balance, like Miyé and its natural formulas.This is the snowball effect!A site, amenovia.com, both info platform, holistic advice, e-shop and place of discussion, launched last year.The menopause, the latest fashionable subject?One thing is certain, a new very promising market opens to meet real needs that had never been formulated. « C'est vraiment le début du début»», estime Sophie Schmitt.The last female revolution is underway ...
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