Two gestures to rekindle the flame of your marriage

Many couples experience this. Once the first years of marriage are over, the romantic relationship can lose its luster. She even risks suffocating little by little under the pressure of habits and worries. Here are two simple gestures that you can use and abuse to build and strengthen the marital bond.

After a few years of marriage, the relationship that develops can distance the spouses from the “feeling of love”. The accumulation of small burdens or selfish behaviors, of which the spouses are often not even aware, creates a distance between the two and can deteriorate the bond that unites them. The couple is then not unhappy but it is not happy either. However, nothing prevents them from moving forward, from doing everything possible to take their marriage to a new stage, that of mutual understanding and support. Marital bliss is not a "finished product", which is kept under a crystal globe to be contemplated as a diploma or an award. It is a precious asset that we must maintain on a daily basis. Here are two simple gestures that will help build your marital bond.

Forgive

Disputes, hurtful words, selfish acts, casualness… Living together is also about discovering the imperfection of the other. There are certainly faults that we did not see at the beginning and which can become real suffering, but also all these little things that we no longer take the time to say or do. Accumulated, they can become a threat to marital happiness. In order to prevent this from becoming a threat to marital love, each spouse must learn to forgive. Forgiveness means that we are aware of all this list of painful things that we have accumulated, and that we make the choice to erase it. Some will choose to discuss it together, others will do so in the silence of their hearts.

From this forgiveness often comes a deep relief. Like a ship whose hold has been emptied, your ship is lighter, it can move more quickly and freely. When we forgive, we renew the relationship, we renew our manifestation of love for the other. Once we have forgiven, we must move on. This does not mean that we should not learn from the past, or that we should necessarily forget what hurt us. But we must not let these wounds prevent us from continuing on our way.

Ask for forgiveness

If it is important to forgive, it is just as important… to ask for forgiveness. This allows us to take our relationship to a higher level. The forgiveness of the other is only valid for us if we ourselves recognize our own faults and ask forgiveness for them. Asking for forgiveness requires above all an awareness of the real state of our marital relationship: marriage only really works if each spouse gives himself entirely. This examination of conscience is not a complicated exercise. The only thing to do is to take a few minutes of reflection, and ask yourself how we behave in this marital relationship: are we allowing the other to grow? Do we give the best of ourselves to make him happy, every day? The grievances that we reproach the other, do we not commit exactly the same?

Contrary to popular belief, looking at the other with love is to see the imperfections of our relationship with more clarity. Love is like a pair of sunglasses that reveal details more accurately. Seeing life through it allows us to see the times when we behaved selfishly, when we imposed our opinion on the discussion, when we even imposed that opinion as if it were the absolute truth. Thus, forgiving and asking for forgiveness are two actions that allow us to renew our relationship and deepen our love and commitment.